The Rooted Mama

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That Ache of Being Left Out

Do you ever scroll TikTok and see a girl crying into her phone because she has no friends and then something in you aches because…you get it?

Maybe it’s super relevant for you because as you’re watching her tears fall, you’re in the same boat, spending another Friday night alone. No unread texts. No plans. Just you, your couch, and the sinking feeling that everyone else is out living the life you wish you had.

This is what people are calling “girlhood FOMO.” Unlike classic FOMO about missing an event, this runs deeper. It’s about the friendships you don’t have, the invites that never come, and the nagging sense that you’re always on the outside.

And you’re not being dramatic. Loneliness is a real crisis. The World Health Organization declared it a global health threat in 2023. According to WHO, “lacking connection can increase the risk of premature death by more than 25% and is as harmful to health as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.” For young women especially, it’s showing up as anxiety, depression, and the quiet heartbreak of wondering if anyone really cares.

A Culture That’s Gone Numb

The scariest part? It’s not just that we’re lonely… it’s that our culture is growing more desensitized.

Remember that viral video of a man sitting on a New York subway track in clear crisis? Instead of concern, the crowd yelled at him for “inconveniencing” their commute. One woman shouted, “When I want to kill myself, I do it at home.”

It was shocking, but also telling: compassion feels harder to find.

Why It Hurts So Much

As young women, we grew up on stories that promised us a ride-or-die friend group or a family that never let us down. From Disney Channel squads to rom-com besties, the message was clear: someone will always swoop in and save you.

But adulthood hits, and reality feels different. Graduations happen, friends move, priorities shift, people get busy. And it starts to seem like the entire world you knew is starting to crumble around you. The people that were always the first ones in your “unread” text list have gone radio silent. You’re left wondering, “Did anyone actually care about me?”

Here’s the hard truth: most of the time, no one is coming to save us. Whether it be a can’t or a won’t, most of the time it’s just not going to happen. The healing, the climbing out of the pit and the choosing to keep going all start with us.

That sounds heavy, but here’s the hope: you can do it. Not overnight. Not perfectly. But in small, daily ways that remind you: I matter. I’m worth showing up for.

10 Ways to Show Up for Yourself (When No One Else Does)

These aren’t glamorous. They won’t make your social media profile look aesthetically pleasing. But they will help you breathe, ground, and remember you’re still here and that matters.

• Cook yourself a real meal. Even if it’s just eggs and toast, feeding yourself is an act of respect. (Pro tip: this beginner’s cookbook can make cooking less overwhelming.)
• Step outside once a day. Sunlight and fresh air shift your nervous system faster than you think.
• Move your body gently. Stretch, walk, dance in your room — no gym membership required.
• Write one honest page in a notebook. No filter, no judgment. Just you and the page. (Try a guided journal if you want prompts.)
• Say no to one draining request. Protecting your energy is survival, not selfishness.
• Tidy one corner of your space. A made bed or clear counter can reset your brain.
• Drink water before your coffee. Tiny shift, big signal to your body that you matter.
• Reach out to one safe person. Even just “thinking of you” can remind you connection still exists.
• Limit doomscrolling. Swap 5 minutes of scrolling for 5 minutes of music, reading, or coloring in a stress-relief adult coloring book.
• Create one small ritual. A candle at night, prayer in the morning, or music before bed. Something that whispers: you’re cared for here.

Why This Matters

We’re living through an epidemic of loneliness. Half of U.S. adults report feeling it, and young women are among the most affected.

But starting with yourself doesn’t mean you’re giving up on people. It means you’re building the strength to keep going and making space for the right connections when they do come.

You are worth caring for. Even if, right now, you’re the only one who sees it.

Your Next Step: Decode Survival Mode

If any of this feels familiar – the burnout, the numbness, the “just get through the day” mode – I made something for you.

It’s called the Survival Mode Decoder. It’s a short worksheet that helps you identify symptoms of burnout and nervous system overload, and gives you one simple, doable action for each.

No long plan. No pressure. Just gentle steps to remind you that you’re still here and still worth caring for.

 Download your free Survival Mode Decoder here and take the first step toward showing up for yourself, even when it feels like no one else will.

Loneliness is something so many of us carry quietly. But you don’t have to hold it all alone. What’s one small way you could show up for yourself this week?

Drop it in the comments! I’d love to cheer you on.